To Lead Herself Home
by chocolatequeen
Summary: There is no Pete to catch Rose, and she falls into the Void. But the nothingness awakens something that has been sleeping inside her, and she realises that she already left the words that would lead herself home.


The rough grip of the lever bit into Rose's hands, but that minor discomfort was nothing compared to pain in her shoulders. The Void was pulling her in, just like the Doctor had said it would.

She remembered how the Doctor had described the Void, back when they'd gone to the parallel universe. Nothingness, he'd said. The idea of being trapped in an endless nothing terrified her, and she held onto the lever with every ounce of her strength.

"Rose, hold on!"

Rose gritted her teeth and looked over at the Doctor. His arm was stretched out to grab her, but there was no way he could get to her from the other side of the room. Not without falling into the Void himself.

One of Rose's hands slipped off the lever for just a second. Her stomach dropped, but a surge of adrenaline gave her the strength to grab onto it again.

"Hold on!" the Doctor begged, and she could hear the panic of the close call in the pitch of his scream.

Rose panted and gripped the lever as well as she could. Her palms were sweaty and slick, and she didn't know if it would be enough… but it was the best she could do.

She took a deep breath and looked at the Doctor. His wide, terror-filled eyes broke her heart. This was exactly what he'd been afraid would happen, and for a moment, she almost wished she'd stayed in Pete's World. At least then he wouldn't have had to watch her die.

 _But I had to try. I couldn't just leave him._

And, she remembered, there was no way he could have done this himself. Two levers—two people. Rose set her jaw and tightened her hold on the lever until her fingers ached.

The tug of the Void strengthened as the last remnants of Void stuff were sucked in. Now she and the Doctor were all that remained, and the full power of the Void was focused on her.

Rose felt her fingers slip off the lever. She grunted and strained her arms, trying to hang on for just a few more seconds… but then her hands were grasping at air and she was free falling towards the breach.

She could hardly hear the Doctor shout her name over her own scream of panic. The Void had her, and in a second, she would be trapped in hell.

Sliding through the breach felt like dipping under water. On the other side of the breach, in her universe, the Doctor was yelling and the wind whistled through the room, pulling the last of the Void stuff in.

But on this side, there was no sound, no feeling of her hair being whipped about. And without sight or hearing to distract her, a new sense demanded Rose's attention.

Five seconds. Ten seconds. She could feel time moving around her and through her.

 _Hang on._

Rose tilted her head. If the Void was nothingness, then time shouldn't exist here. So how could it be even more real to her now than it had been in her world?

A warm spark of energy built in Rose's chest, then spread throughout her body. She held her hand up and watched as a golden glow fluctuated beneath her skin. She'd seen it before… when she'd held her hand out to turn the Daleks to dust.

The Time Vortex. The Doctor had taken it from her, but one tiny spark of it had remained. She could still feel time, because Time lived inside her.

Because she was the Bad Wolf.

Two words, following them everywhere they went. Two words that she had taken and scattered throughout time and space, as a message to herself…

A message to lead herself home.

With a pounding heart, Rose closed her eyes and focused on the power she could now feel coursing through her body. She'd left the words everywhere she would be, and everywhere she needed to be. So surely…

There! Her eyes snapped open, and she smiled when she saw the golden path laid out in front of her.

 _Time to go home._

oOoOo

The Doctor's breath came in heaving sobs as he stared at the breach. Rose had… she was… His respiratory bypass kicked in when he couldn't breathe.

The wind died down as the breach closed. In front of him, he could see the fabric of the universe slowly knitting itself back together, and he couldn't even find the air to scream his protest.

 _Not with Rose on the other side!_

He was vaguely aware that he could feel the floor beneath his feet again, that he was standing instead of being elevated into the air by the Void tugging him in. The numbness of grief was already setting in—losing Rose to Pete's World would have hurt, but knowing she was trapped in hell was infinitely worse.

Memories swept over the Doctor as he shuffled towards the wall. Rose's laugh, her teasing smile, the way her eyes fluttered closed when he leaned in to kiss her. He pressed his hand to the cold wall and remembered the softness of her body curled around his in their bed.

A sharp shock jolted through his body, strong enough to send him stumbling back a few steps from the wall. "What?" he muttered, reaching into his jacket pocket.

The jacket pocket where he'd put the psychic paper after Rose returned it, he realised when his hand closed around a familiar leather wallet.

 _Well whoever wants to entice me into another mysterious meeting can wait until another day,_ he thought, even as he flipped it open.

There were two words written on the paper. Two words that made his hearts stop.

Bad Wolf.

Before he could process what that message could possibly mean, the air around him became charged with temporal energy. Something was about to happen. A fixed point was rapidly approaching.

The Doctor looked up, waiting for the inevitable moment. The charge in the air increased, until the hairs on the back of his hand stood on end.

And then a pinprick of gold light appeared in the middle of the white wall. The light spread, and through it the walls between the worlds appeared to change from solid to liquid.

The Doctor's mouth dropped open as a figure walked through wall. A leg appeared first, clothed in black. An arm came next, wearing a sky blue jumper that made his hearts race.

A moment later, Rose Tyler stood in front of him.

He opened and closed his mouth twice before he could get sound to come out of his lips. "Rose, what… I don't understand."

She gave him a cheeky wink, then spun around and ran her hand over the wall. The barrier solidified once more, and the golden light disappeared.

 _She's resealed the crack she opened,_ he realised with growing confusion. He didn't understand anything that had happened in the last minute, and she still hadn't answered his question.

The Doctor waited impatiently, but finally, Rose turned back and walked towards him. Gold light glinted in her eyes when she smiled at him. _Bad Wolf,_ he remembered.

Gratitude and regret warred within the Doctor. He was so glad to have Rose back, but at what cost? The Time Vortex was too much power for any mortal body to contain.

But he had saved Rose once; he could do it again. And this time he knew this wouldn't be his only chance to kiss her.

To his surprise, a firm hand on his chest pushed him back when he leaned down to press his lips to hers. "Not this time, my Doctor," Rose stated unequivocally.

And then she opened her mouth and exhaled a puff of gold mist. At the same time, the glint faded from her eyes, though he thought he could still see golden flecks in her brown irises.

He blinked down at her, then asked the one question clamouring in his mind. "How?"

Rose smiled and pressed her hand to his cheek. "I told you, I made my choice a long time ago. And then I scattered the words through time and space and left myself a message to lead myself home."

The Doctor's knees went weak. He wrapped his arms around Rose, relying on her to hold him steady—just like she always did.

He pressed a kiss to Rose's temple and felt her nuzzle into his chest. An emotion he'd long since given up on denying welled up inside him, finally too strong to be kept silent.

"I love you," he whispered without moving his lips away from her temple.

Rose's breath caught, then she tilted her head back and brushed her lips against his Adam's apple. "My Doctor."

The Doctor felt the pregnant pause and realised she wanted him to look at her. He sighed and moved back just far enough that he could see the happiness glowing in her eyes, putting Bad Wolf's light to shame.

"I love you, too."


End file.
